How to Boost Your Confidence Through Self-Compassion

Have you ever wondered why some people seem to be just so confident?

You may have asked yourself — “how do they believe in themselves so completely when I am always doubting myself and wondering if I am good enough?”

You may have even convinced yourself that they are just more skilled, more talented, more intelligent, more attractive or more experienced than you are and that this is why they can be so confident…

HOWEVER, often the reason that someone else is more confident than you, isn’t to do with what they know, how smart they are or what they look like. As humans, we all have strengths and we all have weaknesses. Each and every one of us has things that we do well and are good at and things that we aren’t so great at (or that we need to work on). When someone isn’t very confident, they tend to spend a lot of their time focusing on those things that they aren’t so great at and beating themselves up for not being better at those things.

However, when someone is confident, they tend to celebrate their strengths and positive qualities and then see their weaknesses as areas for development or things that they can work on. Confident people don’t tend to beat themselves up over what they can’t do or because they aren’t good enough, instead they tend to talk to themselves kindly and compassionately, encouraging themselves to succeed in a motivational way rather than a harsh and critical way.

*”BASING YOUR SELF-ESTEEM ON THE OPINIONS OF OTHERS*”

So many people rely on other people for validation and confidence. For example, they will only feel attractive on days when other people have complimented them on their appearance or they will only feel that they have put together a good piece of work when someone else praises that piece of work. They are relying mostly on the judgment and opinions of others in order to feel good about themselves and their lives. Basing your self-worth on the opinions of others however makes that self-worth very fragile. It means that you could feel bad about yourself one day just because everyone around you is in a bad mood and doesn’t feel like complimenting or praising you that day. It means that you are leaving how you feel about yourself entirely in the hands of other people. Much more helpful than depending on others for validation is to give yourself that validation through treating yourself with compassion.

If you are being kind to yourself and celebrating, valuing and appreciating the work you have put in to a project, you won’t need to depend upon other people to tell you that you have done a good job. If you can appreciate and celebrate your appearance and what you look like, then you won’t have to wait for other people to compliment you to feel good about yourself.

So, self-compassion really lies at the heart of true confidence. That unwavering belief in yourself and that quiet understanding that you are more than “good enough” comes from being able to celebrate and appreciate your strengths and positive qualities, rather than constantly beating yourself up for your flaws. How are you going to celebrate what makes you uniquely you today?